A practical guide for parents · ages 2–7

Your child hits. Here's what to do in the next five seconds.

A practical, evidence-informed guide for parents of children aged 2 to 7 who hit, kick, bite, shove or play far too rough. No yelling, no physical punishment, no psychology lectures.

Instant download · EPUB + PDF · English and Spanish included · Versión en español
Gentle Hands cover
12 tools Exact scripts 21-day plan 102 pages

"I've separated them three times and it isn't eight in the morning yet."

And at night, when he finally falls asleep, you're left with a question bigger than all the rest: is he going to be a violent adult? This book answers that in the first chapter, with data. Then it spends 100 pages on what you actually need: what to do with your hands, your face and your mouth the next time he hits you.

The first thing you need to know

Before any technique, one fact almost no parent has heard.

The curve

Physical aggression doesn't start in adolescence

It starts at age two. And at age two it is at the highest point it will ever reach. Studies following thousands of children find the same curve every time: it rises through the second year of life and declines from the third birthday onward.

Your child is not a future aggressor — he's at the normal peak of a curve. What you can change is how long it lasts, how far it escalates, and what he learns along the way. That's what this book is about.

Chart of the physical aggression curve from 12 months to age 7
Curve shape after Alink et al. (2006) and Tremblay (2004).
The trigger map

80% of hits come out of one of six engines

Tiredness, hunger, sensory overload, frustration without words, attention, and limits that shift depending on the adult. It's almost never "being bad" — it's a state.

The book teaches you to spot your child's main engine with three days of logging, and why fixing the state prevents the hit far better than punishing it afterwards.

The six engines behind a hit
The six engines, each with its early warning sign.

What you get

One download, all of it usable this week.

📖

The complete ebook

102 pages in EPUB and PDF. Read it on your phone, your Kindle, or print it.

🛠️

12 practical tools

Each with the exact script, the steps, and the common mistakes.

💬

9 situations solved

Word for word — including the time the one who lost control was you.

📅

A 21-day plan

One new task per week and three reviews. No changing everything on Monday.

📊

18 clear graphics

To understand fast — and to show the relative who keeps recommending "a firm hand".

🖨️

3 printable appendices

The fridge sheet, the hit log, and the pocket cards.

🌎

The Spanish edition

Manos Suaves included in EPUB and PDF, at no extra cost.

Some of the tools

All of them work at home, today, with nothing to buy.

The 2-second shieldThe three moves that replace the yell: block, five words, redirect.
The five wordsOne sentence, always the same, until it shows up in his head before he hits.
Differential attentionWhy you've probably been rewarding the hitting for months without realising — and how to switch the engine off in four days.
The 20-minute sensory dietEight legal discharges for the child who "doesn't walk, he crashes". The fastest results in the book.
The rough-play traffic lightYou don't ban wrestling; you give it a frame. Green, yellow, red, and four rules said out loud before starting.
The five minutes that change the dayThe exercise at the centre of the best-evidenced parenting programmes. Five minutes, correcting nothing.
Time-out done properlyFive steps, and why almost everyone does it in a way that doesn't work.
RepairWhat to do after the hit so that it teaches something instead of just leaving guilt behind.
Tool 1

The three moves that replace the yell

Block the arm without squeezing, say the five words with a still face, and redirect the energy somewhere else. Two seconds, always in the same order, always the same.

It's the first thing you learn because it's what makes the rest of the book work: your reaction stops being a lottery.

The 2-second shield: block, five words, redirect
The 2-second shield, step by step.
Tool 5

Eight legal discharges for the child who crashes

Some children don't hit out of anger: they hit because their body is asking for input and gets it by crashing into people. Twenty minutes of the right discharge brings the hitting down faster than any consequence.

The 20-minute sensory diet
The sensory diet, with the dose and the time of day.
Tool 8

Rough play isn't banned — it's framed

Banning wrestling usually makes things worse and takes away one of the best emotion-regulation workouts a child gets. What works is a traffic light, four rules said out loud, and a stop signal both of you respect.

The rough-play traffic light: green, yellow and red
Green, yellow and red — and what the adult does at each colour.

Nine situations solved word for word

Not "set loving boundaries". The exact sentence, in the exact order.

And a plan, so you don't try everything on Monday

Three weeks, one new task per week, three reviews.

The 21-day plan

What to do each week, and when to expect the change

Most households see a visible change in frequency between day 12 and day 18. And there's something the plan warns you about before it happens: between day 4 and day 6 it usually gets worse. That's a good sign, it's explained, and it's the week almost everyone quits.

The 21-day plan, week by week
The three weeks and the three review points.
The printables

Three days of data beat three months of theories

The hit log records the time, what happened right before, and which of the six engines it was. Three days in, you'll see a pattern you've been missing for months.

The printable kit also includes the fridge sheet — so every adult in the house responds the same way without reading 100 pages — the rough-play poster, and six pocket cards to cut out.

The hit log sheet
The hit log, included in the printable kit.

Is it for you?

Better to know before you pay than after.

Yes, if…

  • Your child is between 2 and 7.
  • He hits, kicks, shoves, bites, throws things or plays too rough.
  • The rest of his life works: he plays, he laughs, he connects with you, he loves his people.
  • You want to know what to say and what to do — not why attachment theory explains the world.
  • You're tired of being told "he'll grow out of it" or that he needs "a firm hand".

No, if…

  • You're looking for an academic psychology textbook.
  • You expect it to replace a professional evaluation — there's a whole chapter of warning signs and who to call.
  • You want physical punishment or "firm hand" techniques: the book explains why they don't work.
  • This is about severe violent behaviour or a diagnosis that needs specific treatment.

Evidence-informed, with no miracle promises

Every important claim is sourced, with full references at the end: the developmental curve of physical aggression, the relationship between language and aggression, which components of parenting programmes actually work, play fighting and emotion regulation, and time-out done properly.

Alink et al., 2006 Tremblay, 2004 Girard et al., 2014 Kaminski et al., 2008 Storli, 2021 Dadds & Tully, 2019 American Academy of Pediatrics

And nobody gets blamed. Not you for yelling on Tuesday, not him for hitting on Wednesday.

Choose your version

Both include the complete book in English and Spanish, in EPUB and PDF.

The book only

Ebook

$14
one-time · instant download
  • 102 pages, EPUB + PDF
  • English and Spanish
  • 12 tools and 9 situations
  • The 21-day plan
Buy the ebook — $14
⭐ Most popular

Ebook + printable kit

$24
one-time · instant download
  • Everything in the version on the left
  • The 4-page printable kit (EN and ES)
  • Fridge sheet and hit log
  • Six pocket cards to cut out
  • Future updates included
Get the pack — $24

30-day guarantee. If you applied the tools and the book didn't help, email us within 30 days and we'll refund 100%. No awkward questions, and you keep the files.

Frequently asked

What languages does it come in?

Both. Whichever version you buy, you get Gentle Hands in English and Manos Suaves in Spanish, each in EPUB and PDF, at no extra cost. DRM-free: reads on phone, tablet, desktop and Kindle.

My child is 8 — is this still useful?

Much of it, yes: the shield, the five words, differential attention and repair all keep working. But the book is calibrated for ages 2 to 7, and from 8 onward there are themes (peer groups, older siblings, screens) it doesn't cover in depth.

He hits at preschool but not at home. Does this apply?

Yes, there's a specific chapter. And that difference between settings is actually good news: it usually points to a situational problem, not a problem with the child.

Is this gentle parenting? Is this positive discipline?

It's practical before it's doctrinal. There are firm limits and there are consequences — and there is zero physical punishment and zero humiliation. If those two things sound compatible to you, this book is for you.

Does it include time-out? I read that it's harmful.

Yes, with five concrete steps and a lot of conditions. The chapter explains what the available evidence says and why the badly done version — yelled, long, shaming — is the one to avoid.

My partner won't read the book.

There's a one-page fridge sheet designed for exactly that: the sentence, the three steps and the rough-play rules, so any adult in the house can respond the same way without reading 100 pages.

Does this replace a therapist?

No, and the book says so explicitly. There's a chapter with concrete warning signs, what kind of professional to look for, and the five questions worth taking to the first appointment.

How long until I see results?

The plan is 21 days. Most households see a visible change in frequency between day 12 and day 18. It's normal for things to get worse between day 4 and day 6, and the book explains why.

How is it delivered?

Instantly. Checkout runs through Gumroad and you get the download link straight away — no waiting, no shipping.

Next time he hits you, you'll know what to do.

Block, five words, redirect. Two seconds. And 100 more pages for everything else.

Get Gentle Hands — from $14 Lee esta página en español